Excuses

Excuses, Excuses I hear them every day. I used to love to sing that song to my mom when she wouldnt give me what I wanted. Now I can kinda understand why she didnt. This was supposed to be "Motivational Monday" and I got up and got motivated this morning. My day went like this.... Got up, got dressed, made my bed, started laundry, took my thrive, went for a walk, drank my shake, ate breakfast, showered, put my DFT on, put in some applications, did some things online, went by the doctors office, faxed a resume and came back home, ate lunch, cleaned up from lunch, cleaned up the living room and moved some stuff around, cooked supper, watched a movie and now this. I know boring!!!! But it was what it was. But today I was stronger than my excuses. The first one being I had planned to get up at 6 and be out the door by 6:15. I woke up at 7:30. Oh its already going to be hot outside. I AM GOING ANYWAY. But i should be doing something else by now. I AM GOING ANYWAY! Just because a wrench gets thrown into the mix doesnt mean that you get to make an excuse to not take care of you. For as long as I can remember I have always made time for everyone else and what they needed but never really taking care of me. I have made sure everyone else made it to the Doctor, but not me. Made sure everyone else had food to eat whether I had my fill or not. I have always made the excuse that as long as everyone else that I loved was taken care of that I would be fine. But it has truly cost me. I havent taken care of myself. I didnt eat properly, I didnt exercise properly, I didnt sleep properly. I wore myself out to the point I started letting everyone down. But the biggest letdown was to myself. I have lost friends, I have pushed my family aside, I have always had EXCUSES! What good were those excuses? They sure didnt do me any good. As a matter of fact those excuses have cost me myself. I have been trying for months to figure out just when I started not to matter to myself. When I let myself go, didnt care about how I looked, or what I ate, or what didnt get done. I just feel like I didnt care about anything that I used to love. My hobbies, my passions, my goals, my dreams. I had made excuses for as long as I can remember. Where has it gotten me? I was once told just a few weeks ago that I was putting all my eggs in the wrong basket and that I was going to end up alone. Well here I am, sitting in my apartment, ALONE! Somehow I finally feel like that is ok. NO MORE EXCUSES not to focus on ME! NO more excuses to not get healthy! NO more excuses not to exercise. NO more excuses not to JUST BREATHE! Everyday is a new beginning and who cares if everything didnt get done today, it will still be here tomorrow, and if it isnt then I guess that it just wasnt meant to be. I will only fail when I stop trying, and I refuse to sink. Today I was STRONGER than my strongest excuse. Every day brings a little more clarity, a little more truth and a little piece of me is stronger than the day before. I am ENOUGH for me!